So here we are…… on the evening of Hannah Joy’s 2nd Birthday, and I can only stare at her beautiful face, amongst the balloons and feel overwhelming thankfulness, for what she is, and who she is. Have you ever felt like you didn’t deserve something…….. I mean, not because you are bad, or evil or mean, but just because, you realize not everyone deserves every good thing. Sometimes I feel that way about Hannah. Who am I to get to be her Mother? What special task did I perform to deserve such a gift? None that I can think of, but because of this feeling, I appreciate her ever so much more. Everything she does is magic……. still.
At two years old, Hannah is still sweet, still Gentle, still kind. However she is now also funny, and playful, and silly. She messes with her brothers and they mess with her. She is ALWAYS proud of herself when she successes. Yelling…. “I did it!” with exuberance and excitement. She loves to sing the itsy bitsy spider, and she has a little drum roll thing she does with me all the time just to be funny. It’s hard to explain……. she will say, “Mamma, Mamma……. Mammmmmmmaaaaa…….. and then to psh, psh, psh, and pump her little fists like she’s hitting a drum. It’s hilarious, and I have no idea where she learned it. It’s totally awesome and I NEED to get it on video. She has lots and lots of words, and can repeat almost any word you ask her too, but is still a ways from being a “talker”. Her many early words did not lead her to be an early talker in the same way as Elijah was, but I have no doubt she is developing perfectly and wonderfully. I just can’t wait to be able to really know what she has on her mind. She speaks lot’s of gibberish in her own fanatical way. It’s awesome. She loves to dance, and to play. She still loves books, but has a hard time sitting still long enough to read one. She loves to move, and to jump and explore her world. She still loves her brothers and her daddy like they were the most amazing thing in the world. She even adores Benjamin in a way that is almost surprising. He isn’t mean to her so much, but he doesn’t give her much attention. Still, she adores him. When he takes things from her, or turns off her show, she doesn’t care. She would care if Elijah or Micah did it, but she doesn’t care when Ben does. It’s as if she knows he’s different, and he’s not doing it to be mean, but just because he doesn’t know why he SHOULDN’T do that to her. I know they have a very special relationship, and I’m so, so thankful for that. She still loves the water, but hates getting her hair washed because she doesn’t like how the water runs into her face. She LOVES her naps. I’ve never had such a great napper. When you tell her it’s nap time, she happily trots upstairs, preferring to stand and hold the railing as she steps up, rather then crawling. She LOVES her Huggy the Elephant and her Blankie, the one with the lambswool on one side. She holds her Huggy or her Ba Sheep tight, and with one free hand rubs the lambs wool and goes to sleep. She will sleep for at least 3 hours, sometimes more, unless you wake her up. I usually need to wake her up, either to get her brothers from school, or just to keep her from being up till 11pm because she’s slept so late in the day. On the rare day that she doesn’t get her at least 2 hour nap, her temperament is still good, and she doesn’t seem to mind. She’s starting to love and tenderly care for baby dolls. It’s moments like this, when I see her loving on her baby dolls, that I am shock and awe again and again……. I really have a daughter. Something I never thought I would have.
She LOVES Elmo and Abby from Sesame street. It’s so much fun to see her love these things with a passion and an intensity that I don’t remember seeing with the boys. She is starting to really love to play with other kids. She loves to go to the gym, and play with “kids”. She went through a brief time of crying when I left her there, but she got over it quickly and now easily and exitedly goes in to play, even when I take her several days in a row. Now that’s she’s two, she will get to take part in their kids Fitness that they do everyday……. I can’t wait to see it, I imagine I won’t work out but watch her from the Window. I’m sure she will be athletic, not because her Momma is, but because her brothers are, and she loves to do anything they do. I can’t wait to see how that will manifest in the years to come. She loves to pray. She say’s “A-Meen” at the end of every prayer, we have come to expect it and wait for it. One day, she started putting her hands on me, whispering some gibberish, and ending with “A-meen”. She prays for me, and anyone or anything else she’s asked to. She will even pray for her food by laying her hands on it. It’s adorable. But more then anything it’s important. I pray she never loses the boldness to pray for others, outloud, with confidence.
I speant a good amount of time today reminiscing her birth. Looking at photos of my labor and birth, and her first moments on earth. What a special night and day it was. So much expectation, so much anxiety and worry, and then it happened. My labor took off, I worked hard, had faith in God and in my birth team, and in her……. and she was born. Perfect, pink, healthy. All of the worry, concern and anxiety washed away with the blood of birth. I listened to a song that was on my birth playlist over and over today. I wept as I sat it gratitude of her grand entrance into this world. What a gift, what a memory.
And with that, I will rest. I always want to remember 2 year old Hannah Joy…….. I know there will be so many new memories to enjoy, but for now….. I’m so thankful for the ones I already hold, and the years ahead I get to enjoy her.